The X-Files 11×10 Review: Good Riddance

In the end, The X-Files‘ four-part revival arc known as “My Struggle 1-4” is very appropriately titled. These episodes are a fucking struggle…in every possible way. It is a struggle to make sense of the narrative. It is a struggle to find the point of any of it. It is a struggle to reconcile what Chris Carter chose to give us with the thousands of other better scenarios out there. The one good thing is knowing that the struggle is over. But even feeling any type of closure posed a challenge until Gillian Anderson herself indicated that she was unsatisfied, too.

I want to move on from this show so badly, but I think I have one last rant in me. Thanks for joining me as I angrily yell my final goodbye to The X-Files.

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The X-Files 11×09 Review: Take Me To Church

I don’t know about you, but I got Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” stuck in my head after watching The X-Files Season 11 Episode 9, “Nothing Lasts Forever.”

Life is a mystery (X-File)
Everyone must stand alone (Trust no one)
I hear you call my name (Scullaaay!)
And it feels like (our) home

As you can see, I’m having fun with pop songs from the ’80s because I’m not in a crippling rage spiral like I normally am after an episode of this God-forsaken show. No one is more surprised than me, but (drum roll, please) I did not hate this episode. I even think I can go as far to say that I…liked it? It’s a refreshing feeling, although a little unsettling, to be honest.

Grab a smoothie and join me for an anomalous positive review.

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The X-Files 11×08 Review: Oh Hell No

The X-Files Season 11 Episode 8, “Familiar,” is a hot mess. For the revival, that’s at least, well, familiar. The episode could’ve been a super scary and fun horror trip, but instead it’s just really depressing and disturbing.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and I don’t really want to do it…but I committed to these reviews so here I am. The X-Files taught me that “no one gets there alone,” so thank you for joining me here in the shade.

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THE X-FILES: L-R: Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny in the "Rm9sbG93ZXJz" episode of THE X-FILES airing Wednesday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2018 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Shane Harvey/FOX

The X-Files 11×07 Review: Shut It Down

The title for Season 11 Episode 7 of The X-Files is “Rm9sbG93ZXJz,” which is “Followers” in Base64 code. “ZGlzYXBwb2ludG1lbnQ” is “disappointment.” And that’s what this episode is. A giant disappointment. I had more fun turning swear words into code on that Base64 encoder site than I did watching this episode.

Join me while I try to decode my intense dislike for an episode that contains MSR handholding. Or don’t. I understand how repetitive these rants are. Believe me, writing them has lost its luster as well.

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The X-Files 11×06 Review: Scully Wears A Turtleneck

Conspiracy. Monsters. The woods. These are the makings of a great episode of The X-Files…until you realize it’s a standalone about Skinner. The conspiracy is just rehashed crap we’ve heard about before, the monster is just a man in a mask, and the woods…well, they look cool — as do Mulder and Scully (that turtleneck, though); and, thus, “Kitten” turns out just to be a colossal waste of time.

Join me for my Teso Dos Bitchfest.

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THE X-FILES: L-R: Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny in the "Ghouli" episode of THE X-FILES. ©2018 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Robert Falconer/FOX.

The X-Files 11×05 Review: Emo Family Reunion

On the last episode of The X-Files, “The Lost Art Of Forehead Sweat,” I said I no longer wanted to believe. “Ghouli” has me taking that statement back. I do want to believe! I really do! The hope I had lost found its way back with this stunning and emotional episode. It is not without its problems, and I fear it will be ruined by that platonic beast from Hell, Chris Carter; but, for now, I’m going to enjoy liking my favorite show again — for all the same reasons I fell in love with it in the first place.

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Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully and David Duchovny as Fox Mulder in The X-Files 11x04 "The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat"

The X-Files 11×04 Review: The Lost Magic of The X-Files

The X-Files’ “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat” doesn’t just have an annoyingly long title in common with Darin Morgan’s Season 10 contribution, “Mulder and Scully Meet The Weremonster,” it has Mulder going through another sentimental mid-life crisis. It has its moments, but I’m afraid it shows, in sharp relief, that The X-Files has lost its magic.

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